I’ve been to a few tradeshow/conference events this year, and I’m sorry to report that these provide lots of opportunity for bad behavior. The “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” rule seems to be applied equally to Nashville, Orlando, and Charlottesville. Do people actually think there is some sort of fidelity free-pass peculiar to these events? Is there some base instinct that is tapped that drives attendees and exhibitors alike to eat as much, drink as much and collect as much swag as humanly possible? But that isn’t what I really want to talk about today.

At an expo I attended earlier this week, I was really intrigued by people’s fashion choices. This was a professional event of about 1000 people, so there was plenty of good people watching, but let me re-emphasize the word professional and offer a few helpful hints should you ever be attending one of these events.

1.       Tradeshow does not equal burlesque show. It is so discouraging to me to see attractive young (and not quite young) women come “work” these shows in too short, too tight clothes and hooker shoes. Don’t leave them wondering what you’re really selling.

2.       Pinstripes doesn’t make it business attire. I’ve seen way too many pairs of cheap polyester, boot-cut, pinstripe pants (usually worn too tight) that some poor girl thinks is appropriate. You don’t have to spend a whole lot of money to get a pair of real trousers. Basic black and a good fit will work with a nice blouse, sweater, or tailored jacket.

3.       I’m no expert on men’s fashion, but I don’t think that steel grey cotton poplin shirt with the Nehru collar and white topstitching should be worn with the bottom half of a pinstripe suit. No, no, no.

4.       Suits can be exquisite works of craftsmanship. Often they are shipped to their retail destination with vents and pockets sewn down to maintain the integrity of the construction. Gentlemen, please go ahead and snip those 2-3 stitches holding the rear vent of your suit jacket. That vent is there for a reason – so you can sit and bust a seam.

5.       A plain black suit, plain white shirt and black bow tie might work if you are an old school undertaker, preacher or member of the catering wait staff. Otherwise, no. (The very cute young offender I’m thinking of did have a spectacular pompadour, and almost earned mad style points – but I truly thought he was a waiter until he sat at the table next to me.)

What tradeshow no-nos have you seen?